


Champion.

by reidbyers



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 02:19:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12496352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reidbyers/pseuds/reidbyers
Summary: Eight steps to recovering from an addiction and Spencer was determined to get through them all, only with you by his side could he manage and it revealed something about himself he had never admitted before.





	Champion.

**Author's Note:**

> The part two to my other fic "Young and Menace"!

1: Admit You Have a Problem.

“You know you could overdose on this, right?” You asked, rolling the bottles of Dilaudid in your palm, noticing how Spencer’s eyes kept darting down from yours to look at them. You had convinced him to stay at your apartment for a few weeks, he had contacted work and told them he’d be gone for a few weeks while seeking help. Technically that wasn’t a lie, he was seeking help just not in the way they were probably thinking.

“You can overdose on practically anything. Water, caffeine, Soy sauce, Brussel sprouts.” Spencer spoke with his mouth full, gesturing his fork down to the plate in front of him which had sprouts on them along with Spinach and a piece of salmon, all foods that helped keep a person healthy when going through a drug detox. He’d noticed as you cooked him the meal that your fridge and cupboards were free from any of the foods you used to love, bars of chocolate and sour candy, lollipops and full fat ice cream. Back when you were younger you’d eat all the crap you could buy from the shops while studying, he didn’t know how you could spoke a cigarette and then indulge in Cornish cream ice cream but you did it; he just stuck to the ice cream.

“Shut up and eat.” You rolled your eyes and leant back in your chair, watching as Spencer wolfed down the meal. When you were recovering from your addiction there was no one around to help you at first, the least you could do for Spencer was help him with the basics.

It was only after he was done eating that you stood up from your chair and walked over to the sink, undoing the lids off of the bottles. Part of you felt bad for doing this, you knew how difficult it was to let go of something that in its essence was both harming and helping you but it was for the better and you both knew this. Spencer watched with a clenched jaw as you removed the lids and then pouring the liquid down the drain. He knew it was just the placebo effect taking place but he swore he could feel his body physically atrophy from not having the Dilaudid in close proximity.

“You’re going to hate me very soon, but I promise it’s going to be worth it.” You turned the tap on and rinsed away anything that might have remained in the sink. Once you were certain it was clean you turned to the bin and threw away the bottles, maybe it was cold to be so abrupt but Spencer had come seeking help and you were going to give him exactly that; he never said you had to be nice about it.

“I could never hate you, I know why you’re doing this.” Spencer replied softly, meaning each word completely. Despite being upset you vanished into the blue, he didn’t hate you for it. If this experience had brought him anything it was a better understanding to why you did everything you had. He smiled sadly before standing up from the table, wiping his hands down across his thighs. “Can I use your bathroom?” You pointed him in the direction and watched him walk away until he disappeared, a feeling of melancholy coming across you as you started at the empty room before you turned and started to do the washing up.

2: Find Support.

You let Spencer take your bed, he had fought and fought with you about how he was fine taking the couch and how he didn’t want to infringe on your life but you had forced him into doing it. Taking the couch wasn’t the worst thing in the world, if it meant Spencer had somewhere comfortable to be while going through all of this obviously difficult stuff then you’d do it in a heartbeat.

Spencer liked your bed, it was a little small for him and he had to bend his legs to fit all of him in it but it smelt like you and the sheets were soft. He had gone back to his hotel to pick up his things and brought them back to your apartment per your demand, it was easier to keep an eye on him if he was living in the same space.

The first night he stayed round you couldn’t sleep, all the memories you had repressed about the time you’d spent together had floated back and you were just rifling through them. It was more damaging than you’d thought to think about them, about all the times you spent getting high instead of focusing on your attention and the boy cleared enamoured by you. You weren’t dumb, you knew Spencer had liked you but you didn’t want to get committed, the platonic relationship you had was too good and you didn’t want to ruin it by adding romance to the mix. Little did you know that it would be you who ruined it.

It was lucky you stayed awake because you heard Spencer’s yelling right away, it was loud and panicked but also slurred. You threw the blanket covering you off and hurried across your apartment to your bedroom, the sound of Spencer’s panic louder now. When you opened the door you were met with the sight of Spencer clearly in the midst of a nightmare. He was grabbing at his arm, trying to rip off something that wasn’t actually there.

“I don’t want it! I don’t want it, please!” He yelled with his face pressed against the pillow, his legs struggling as he tried to get away from whatever was haunting his dreams. You quickly entered the room and hurried over to the bed, kneeling down on the edge of it before starting to shake Spencer awake.

“Spencer it’s okay, you’re safe. Wake up!” You said in a loud yet soft voice, not wanting to freak him out any more than he was. When he did wake up he immediately pushed away from you, moving to the corner of the bed as he panted and tried to process where he was. “It’s okay, it’s just me.” For a few seconds Spencer looked like he couldn’t believe his own eyes, couldn’t believe that you were actually in front of him. When he did finally come to terms with what had just happened you watched his body relax and his eyes flutter closed.

3: Detox.

You sat outside the bathroom door, listening to the sounds of Spencer vomiting despite having an empty stomach. The symptoms of withdrawal had hit and they were anything but pleasant: tremors, body cramps, diarrhoea, muscle pain and a whole long list more of terrible things to deal with. There was nothing you could do during this part of recovery apart from be there for him.

What felt like an eternity after he finished vomiting but was actually only a few minutes, Spencer unlocked the door and opened it. You looked up at him and him down at you, sharing no words but both knowing how the other was feeling. Spencer extended his hand to you and you took it, he pulled you up despite feeling weak and you wrapped your arms around him and lead him back to your bedroom.

You helped him back into your bed and pulled the blanket over him, brushing the droplets of sweat across his hairline away with your thumb. He looked exhausted, fighting a battle with his body he brought on himself. It was difficult to see him like this but it was also a sign that his body was dealing with not having any hint of Dilaudid in its system which in itself was a good thing.

Once he seemed peaceful you leant down and pressed a soft kiss to his damp forehead, not waiting to see how he reacted before standing up and walking out of your bedroom which was starting to look more and more like his as the days went on.

4: Early Sobriety

The end of the three weeks Spencer had planned to stay with you had arrived and you had mixed feelings about it. You were happy to see him go for many reasons, one because it meant he was finally in the stage of recovery where he could even humour the idea of leaving but two, he had been driving you completely insane.

Once the physical symptoms faded away he was left with all the emotional turmoil to deal with. He got irritated quicker than usual and was more snappy, something that didn’t come to Spencer easily but without the relief he had become accustomed to he didn’t know how to handle all his emotions. He got anxious about things quicker and you’d noticed how the bags under his eyes had become more prominent, it felt weird to see those things and acknowledge them as progress but he was getting better.

“You gonna see your mom before you leave?” You asked from the doorway of your bedroom as you watched Spencer pack his things away in his suitcase. He wasn’t as irritated today, it was more so panic and anxiety that had taken him over. Even after going through the same thing you didn’t know what to do, letting him just go through it seemed like the best option but it wasn’t one you accepted easily.

Spencer turned around to face you, fidgeting with his hands as he tried to work out what to say. He didn’t want to come of as anxious as he actually was but that was difficult considering all he felt right now was his nerves and worries swallowing him whole.

“What if I’m not ready?” His voice was soft and scared like a little boys, he trusted himself around you to not go out looking for more Dilaudid but back at home, with people who didn’t understand what he was going through? He wasn’t so sure. You walked towards him slowly and then reached up to cup his face within his palms, feeling your heart break a little as he nuzzled against your touch. God, you were going to miss this boy.

“You are.”

5: Finding New Routines.

“Spence! We’re heading out to dinner, want to come?” Spencer looked up at the sound of JJ’s voice, he had been staring down at his phone reading a text from you asking him how he was doing. It had been a month since he had arrived back in Virginia and he hadn’t touched even a drop of Dilaudid but he had thought about it. Did that mean he was doing good or not?

He contemplated JJ’s offer for a second, if he didn’t go along with her, Emily and Morgan then he would be going home alone with nothing really to do. Surely being around people was a better way to keep his mind off of things than to be alone with his thoughts?

“Sure.” He replied before bending down to pick up his bag, before he stood up he texted you back, telling you that he was doing okay and would talk to you when he could. The group waited as Spencer slipped his cardigan on, put his bag over his shoulder and walked over to them. “Maybe we could make this a weekly thing?”

Emily and JJ looked at each other with raised eyebrows, Spencer wasn’t exactly the kind of person to be eager for social interaction but they weren’t opposed to the idea. They were all still a little worried about him, they always had been since he was the youngest of the team but he had been doing better and they wanted to treat him like normal.

“Sounds good to me.” Emily replied as they all entered the elevator, glancing up at Morgan who shared a similar confused and surprised look as the women did. No one questioned Spencer’s motives, they instead all stayed quiet and watched the elevator doors close in front of them.

6: Pink Clouds.

“You’re sounding better.” You chuckled after Spencer finished his story, some anecdote about pulling a prank on Morgan with Garcia’s help. You didn’t know all that much about who these people were but you did know about how hard they worked to get Spencer back after being kidnapped and therefore you liked them. You heard Spencer hum in delight, it made you glad to know he was better but also fearful that something would happy to ruin this up he found himself in.

“I feel better! I haven’t even thought about using in weeks, cases have been going more and more successfully, I even have a standing dinner date each week with my team!” Spencer walked from his kitchen into his living room, his phone pressed up against his ear as he balanced a mug of hot coffee in his hands. The better he started to feel the more he wanted to talk to you, he even felt better than before he even taken Dilaudid which wasn’t a lot because he wasn’t that happy of a person but recently he felt like he was walking on clouds.

“That’s great, Spence. I’m glad you’re doing better.” You whisked around your room cleaning things up, despite Spencer being gone for a while now you swore you could still smell him on your bed sheets, it was a comforting scent that you knew you were imagining was there but loved nonetheless.

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” You stopped what you were doing and closed your eyes, the warmth and gentleness of Spencer’s voice making your heart ache. You didn’t know why this was happening, back when you were teenagers you didn’t have feelings for him like this but seeing him recovering from a drug addiction made those feelings appear? No, that wasn’t it. It was more like seeing him after so many years and seeing what he had done with his life, how he was so determined to help people and wanted to get better to continue doing so that made you feel like this.

He was thriving now and you didn’t want to tell him how you were feeling in case it made him want to come back home, he was doing so many amazing things there and the last thing you wanted was to somehow taint that.

So instead you changed the subject, asking him about what books he had read recently.

7: Avoid Relapse.

Spencer didn’t know how he should feel after Gideon left.

He didn’t want to feel, it would be better than the sadness slowly over taking him bit by bit. Yet again someone he loved was leaving, first it was his dad which was a long time ago but it still was a bitter taste is his throat. Then it was Elle, he didn’t know her for that long but she was important to him and even though he understood why she left it still hurt. He’d never forget her though, he didn’t want to.

Part of him wanted to forget that Gideon had ever been a part of his life. It was make it easier to go on with his life, if he had never existed in his mind then he could carry on like everyone else seemed to be doing so well. He too understood why he had left but the way he had made him angry, was he supposed to feel special that he was the one who got the explanation?

He hadn’t thought about taking Dilaudid for months now, he didn’t need it. There were other things preoccupying his mind that didn’t hurt, he didn’t want to get rid of a single memory. This was different, all Spencer wanted was to escape from all his hurt for a while and pretend everything was okay. There were places he could get some, he had the numbers of people who could provide him with what he needed.

Spencer picked up his phone and scrolled through the contacts until he landed on the one he needed right now.

“(Y/N)…can I come home?”

8: Enjoy the Rest of Your Life Sober.

“You should come with me.” You turned to look at Spencer, he was looking down at the box of Chinese food you had ordered, eating casually like he hadn’t just suggested you move across the country with him. At first you thought you’d fabricated the whole thing, it wasn’t until Spencer looked to you and raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer that you actually had to consider his offer.

“What?” You couldn’t help but laugh. Spencer had been staying with you for about a week, after Gideon left he needed to be with someone who didn’t remind him of him every second so he flew himself back to Las Vegas. You had been doing your best to distract him, indulging in ice cream and endless conversations about your favourite scientific conversations and it seemed to be working.

“Come back to Virginia with me. There’s so many more opportunities for you there, you could really blossom.” Spencer put the half empty box down on the table and turned towards you, despite his calm exterior he was actually freaking out on the inside. Ever since he got on the plane ride to come visit you he’d been thinking about how wonderful it would be if you weren’t 2,309.8 miles away from him. “I want you to come with me.”

All you could do was stare at him, after living in Vegas for all of your life you already knew everything there and nothing felt exciting anymore, living somewhere new would be an adventure and with Spencer you knew it would be a life you would love.

“Where would I live?”

“With me.” Spencer frowned as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, you’d made it clear that living together wasn’t a problem when Spencer was first going through his recovery so it made perfect sense to him that you would be fine living with him. “My apartment is big enough, not enough for there to be a second bedroom but you could have mine. Or we could share…if that’s alright.”

“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend as well?” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. A few months ago you could have never fathomed Spencer being in your life again, let alone him suggesting you leave your life here and come spent it with him instead. A blush rose in Spencer’s cheeks and he looked bashfully down into his lap, wondering if he had perhaps read your body language towards him wrong. He finally had accepted his feelings towards you, it had taken him a long time but who else was there who understood him like you did? Not only with his struggles but everything else, it was clear as day from the day you met that you were meant to be together - the struggle had been working out if that was as friends or partners.

“Yeah…yeah I guess so.” Spencer glanced up at you through his lashes, trying to gauge your reaction. When you nodded your head he finally did what he’d been wanting to do the whole week, he leant in and gave you the most chaste and soft kiss. There was so much holding within that kiss, his hopes and dreams and ambition to do better in the world, without you there would be none of that. If there was ever a reason to stay in recovery then it was that, he wanted to keep doing good and with you by his side, that would be the easiest thing in the world.


End file.
